Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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