Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
