so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
