I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize