She said her name was "party"
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
