the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
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She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
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80% sure the drag queens carried her home
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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