I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
