he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
