This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
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Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
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I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I'm like, not good at living.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
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