i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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