I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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