I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
