Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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