My friends, they love my intelligence
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Bring me that man meat
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
