i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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