I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
