apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize