Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
