wat bout pragnant strippers??
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
