Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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