he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
