Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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