butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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