I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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