My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
