everyone is single if you try hard enough
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize