Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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