She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
