dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
