we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
