last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
