Me too!
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Randomize
