Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
