I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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