when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
