She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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