Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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