Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
