What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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