are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
