Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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