Sober January is a disaster.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
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