I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
