so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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