Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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