i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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