Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
