You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
