You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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