i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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