Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
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My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
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