his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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