I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
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